ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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