Dude my mom stole all your condoms
accomplished twins. life is a go
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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