Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
