Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
