He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
