Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
