Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
one two three fourrrrnication!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
