I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
