So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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