I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's always time for handjobs
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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