I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It's just like the Real World with babies
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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