my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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