My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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