apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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