just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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