You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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