you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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