3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
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