My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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