I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
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He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
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I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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