The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
