Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
