in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
