He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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