No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
