just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize