I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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