Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
