3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
