I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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