someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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