Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i wish my penis had a tongue
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
