yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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