The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
