My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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