Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
