He disabled his match.com account in front of me
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
