guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I want to be your penis for a week.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.