When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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