im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.