fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Im part way to drunk.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again