Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?