I want to stick my p in your. b.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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