i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
