Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
