She's JV to your varsity
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
