If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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