I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You made out with two different species that night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
