She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
