champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
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Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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