I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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