Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
