ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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