you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
