Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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