I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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