i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
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Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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