It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
