it wasn't lemon gatorade
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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